Resign12 – I quit
Theroc12 – Wrestling’s the Rock influenced this one, I have no idea why. Might be due to Southland Tales being seen in the HMV sale
Hestap12 – Hesta Pryn from the hottest girl rappers the world has ever seen – Northern State
Yogaba12 – Don’t know what this word is. Perhaps wii fit/yoga related?
Tegans12 – Going to the Tegan and Sara gig
Howard12 – Went to the Russell Howard gig. He was much funnier than Simon Amstell
Longbl12 – Gillen was going on about the Long Blondes new album. Still haven’t listened to it
Dorkie12 – Inspired by the “Buh bye Dork” “Buh bye Doofus” sign off that CC & I have over MSN
Emygrt12 – Off to see Emmy The Great at ULU
Camson12 – Rebecca Camson was someone who popped up on telly
Champi12 – Forest got promoted by a set of bizarre circumstances, they weren’t champions though. Perhaps I meant Borussia Monchengladbach
Ebisue12 – Ebisu, my favourite tune out of all the Tokyo JR line stations (the 3rd Man Theme)
Munich12 – Went to Munich for my Aunt’s birthday
Feisty12 – Was listening to Feist’s new album
Baysta12 – Inspired by the mediocre but great Baseball team the Yokohama Bay Stars
Pipete12 – We must have been to see the Pipette’s around then. I’m not a fan of Rosay and Riot Becki’s replacements. Sure they may be brunette’s, but they’re more leggings in TopShop brunettes rather than Cardigans in TopShop brunettes
Stefyr12 – Yes, we must have as Stefy was supporting. Went off her when I realised she had a tattoo
Tomnok12 – Named after the evil overlord of Animal Crossing
Benson12 – I finally met up with my favourite member of the Scooby Gang. She looked unhealthily thin
Jenpen12 – Jenny Penny was on wwtdd.com showing off some graffiti by Lohan slagging off Scarlett Johansson
Stacyk12 – Stacy Keibler was famous for having long legs. This is enough for me. I’m getting into my cute girl stage
Nusuck12 – But offset it having a quiet moan about work. That’s sticking it to the man!
Portman12 – I think I’d been to see Closer with Freya. Didn’t make either of us feel very good
Elisha12 – Elisha Cuthbert was probably on the front cover of Dear Departed Hotdog then
Stirli12 – Daughter of Diana Rigg. I actually fell for Rachael when she photgraphed in the Daily Express, well before Tipping The Velvet
Petrah12 – I think I’d downloaded Petra Sings The Who Sell Out and got back on a Petra tip. I quite like how Tanya Haden (Jack Black’s wife) voiced the rabbit who swooned for the Kung Fu Panda
Jendar12 – Thought this was inspired by misremembering Jo Dark from P Dark turns out it was actually someone else
Gldbch12 – Best team in Germany. Perhaps I’d been to see the new stadium
Jamdol12 – The UK Frag Dolls have just died. The redheaded Jam was my favourite, the cartoon version even beats Jessica Rabbit
Sarhyb12 – I had a desk calendar of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Babes, my favourite was Daniela Sarahyba. We did think Fernanda Motta was a man though
Jakidg12 – Jakki Degg was my favourite Page 3 girl, but then she got a dodgy tattoo
Fishel12 – I have no idea when Danielle Fishel from Boy Meets World is a password. Perhaps I saw some pics on Hushspace before I was properly with Freya (think around Stacyk)
Schatz12 – Although I had met up with her around here as her nickname had been coined
Rentals1 – Must have been listening to Barcelona
Forest12 – Worst football team ever
Alize123 – Best French girl singing about a bath ever
Dushku12 – Best PVC catsuit ever. Can’t wait for Dollhouse
Jenlew12 – Sweetest voice ever. Nice winking action too
Skalet12 – Worst tattoo ever. I’m sure at this point in time I had no idea of the horrors that were to be unleashed
Rivers12 – Weezer influenced
Sverko12 – Pro Evolution Soccer star striker (before I got Baumjohann)
Bright12 – (I Hate) Conor played in Leeds & had Rilo Kiley supporting him
Rilkil12 – I preferred Rilo Kiley

As listeners to the Adam & Joe show on BBC Radio Six will know, one of their catchphrases is “I’m going to have a party Pom Pom, it’s going to be a Poo Poo Party Pom Pom“. Myself and Freya have been using it for a while and have been finding it rather amusing.

We decided to write our own wedding vows to make it memorable and also for me to finally have something to do regarding the wedding. However, I soon noticed that this meant I would have to write something that was meaningful and, as readers of this blog have found out, my writing is totally rubbish.

Luckily I had an afternoon to go to my dentist (star of the Awful Wedding Story – coming soon!) and spent a nice sunny May day in Harrogate’s Valley Gardens racking my brains of good vow words. Eventually I had something figured out. It didn’t sound cheesy, it didn’t sound over the top, it sounded exactly how I felt about Freya.

And then I added a line asking if Freya wanted a Poo Poo Party Pom Pom?

I managed to memorise the vow, but thought I’d best take the piece of paper I’d written on along in case I had an attack of brain nerves.

On the day of the wedding I had to meet the registrar and state that I was marrying Freya for the right reasons and other official things. Then she asked if I had my vows. I said I did and reluctantly handed over the paper. The registrar seemed a very officious person and didn’t seem like someone who would appreciate the humour in my words. Luckily my brother did and started giggling uncontrollably. Which then started me off. Which made the registrar more po-faced.

Luckily she decided that we were ok to get married (I suspect she realised that Freya already knew I was an idiot but still liked me) and the ceremony went ahead without any problems. Well, apart from the other two Amusing Wedding Stories and the Awful Wedding Story.